Take Back Control of Your Phone

You may not think of The Wise Old Owl as a technological genius, but he has invented a startling new iapp which solves possibly the most pressing problem of our age.

He noticed that most people on the Tube, in cafes and even walking along the pavement are locked into high-speed, apparently one-way conversations on their mobile phones.  At first it seems they are talking to themselves.  This led him to recognise that these days communication is 99% output and only 1% input or listening.

The thought flits in that it must be desperately frustrating or at least seriously inconvenient not to be able to have more than one conversation simultaneously.

What if you could speak to 12000 people all at once?  With his new iapp, the Ferguson Drivelbox, you automatically record your output, and it is streamed randomly to your address book.  An assortment of grunts, non-committal noises and standard phrases such as “I’m on the train”, “Wicked”, “Nevahh” and “You’re breaking up” are inserted in case a recipient of your message does actually respond.  So you can satisfy your craving to be constantly talking … even in your sleep.

Drivelbox is available from Dixons – £395.

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